Twatterfest 2022, 10 bands, wrestling and fancy dress. What more could you want out of a day festival on a Saturday! Dress up as your favorite classic wrestler, and wrestle for the title of The Biggest Twat in Manchester. Yep the biggest Twat in Manchester by battling in a foam infested paddling pool. If you think that’s weird for a festival then you have to strap in for what eventually comes along!

Band 1: Underking

Twatterfest begins with Underking. front man sporting a tie dye AC/DC shirt, the guitarist matching with black jumpers and skinny jeans with their drummer in black fishnets, shorts and a mesh crop top. Their sound is a mellow sound mixed in with heavy riffs! If you need a chilled yet amplifying way to start a festival this is how you do it. And just when you think it’s not in full gear they switch it up, the riffs get faster, the beat picks up and the crowd forms from the floor and the stairs.

If you need a comparison you can a feel of System of a Down and The Used.

Band 2: Nebulesse

Nebulesse takes the stage, vocalist Pixie Marie sports her red and black hair, cargo pants and a black jumper. Nebulesse are a nerdy metal band so if you’re into Marvel you would love these guys. With songs dedicated to Marvel characters / tv shows like Loki and a love for My Chemical Romance, they’re an Emo’s dream! Especially with their cover of House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance. Pixie brings the crowd to life, encouraging them all to come forward and join them with the emo/nerdy vibe, as if you got Affleck’s Palace as a band. Her bold and loud voice, fills the room and she wings her long black and red hair all over the place as the smoke consumes the space around her.

Band 3: Karma’s Puppet

Do you like Shinedown? Do you like Bullet For My Valentine and Killswitch Engage? Karma’s Puppet brings the combo of the 3 to their set! As someone who loves all three bands, you need to see Karma’s Puppet! The energy is honestly insane with this band! They managed to create a mini pit, a bunch of lads running around a poor girl trying to get a picture 😂 To be fair she seemed fine and was going along with the rest of the crowd as they ran circles around her. Frontman Alex crouches to stare into the eyes of the crowd as he belts out every single lyric with an intense passion!

Band 4: Fractures

A sound mixed from New Year’s Day and Motionless In White, Fractures take to the stage, the trio sporting all black with the guitarist  hiding his face with a mask. You probably won’t find more hair swinging around anywhere else! With an eerie backing track, and deep powerful riffs it’s like a Halloween movie on stage! Vocalist Dani takes to the stage with bassist Matt and Guitarist Dan. Dani’s voice is on par with Ashley Costello and Maria Brink when she belts out every lyric, she doesn’t hold back with the power that she pushes into her voice! Dan’s solos and guitar riffs are flat out incredible, there’s also something about him having his face hidden by a mask that just adds to the Halloween theme the band has.

Band 5: VYLKA

A Viking band that stays fully in character by the name of VYLKA. We had a bit of mellow metal to begin the day but that soon changed. With the coolest freaking mic stand known to man featuring, a Viking ax attached to a mic, every single member with fur capes, blue and black makeup and some badass beards. The stage has four shields, spelling out the band name. Every member drinks beer out of horns, with insane chants with fists in the air VYLKA blow away the crowd, as they get the biggest crowd of the day so far!

With arms in the air all over the place, the crowd is bouncing, quite literally, they’re jumping all over the place you can tell the festival is in full swing now and the crowd is more alive than ever.

Band 6: Without Andrew

Twatterfest is a wrestling themed festival at least it is this year. Every single member of the band  understood the assignment, sporting singlets, Jeff Hardy outfits, and even a pretty good Undertaker cosplay. I’m surprised they didn’t even try power-bombing each other off the stage. I mean they might as well have given the amount of jumping around they were doing. Giving me neck deep chills with You Me at Six vibes, so if you like old emo mixed with the new and different then you might be down for this. With powerful pop punk riffs and vocals of a metalcore front man mixed in with pop punk vocals, it’s an insane combo that works to incredibly well.

Band 7: Lesbian Bed Death

Lesbian Bed Death are a band I have seen once before, they bring in the witchy Halloween vibes, in the way of enchanting dance moves and hand movements. Incredible lyrics and a band connectivity like no other. You have the outfits and the movements, the smoke floods in and mixed in with the lights and the lyrics it’s like the potion has been completed and the magic is about to begin. Let’s hope it’s not the Sanderson Sisters kind of magic. They actually reminded me of the scene in Hocus Pocus when the Sanderson Sisters got onto the stage in Salem, and sang “I Put a Spell on You”.

Band 8: Warlock

The name lives up to the band, with a lord of the rings, dungeons and dragons feel they take the stage as badass warlocks. Fast intense riffs and if you’re lucky you might get to hold the all mighty sword! I wish that was a pun but it’s not you honestly might get to hold a sword and run around in the pit with it! The outfits are honestly on top, the front man wearing fake fur and thick brown leather, with war makeup and his hair hanging down. Elf outfits, to perfection with the ears even to match!

Band 9: Raised By Owls

Right we’ve had the interesting with Fantasy and Vikings dominating the stage and showing who’s boss, now let’s let you all meet the band that shows your mental state on a stage. We can all relate to Raised by Owls in some sort of weird way. The front man takes to the stage originally in a black shirt and colorful leggings, before leaving the stage to take off the shirt and to put on a Luchadore mask, sticking with the wrestling theme! Before doing the none Lucha thing by taking the mask off. They are, by all accounts, a metalcore / deathcore meme band that have some long but also some short songs that seem to only last seconds. Especially when they ask the crowd “Who here likes memes? Well this next song is called “Owen Wilson says wow” that should tell you everything you need to know about what you’re watching.

Despite the meme theme around the band, the riffs are incredible and the band are without a doubt closer than any band I have seen, they laugh and joke around while playing some incredible solos and letting out some insane tough vocals.

Now if you’re like me and you were born in the 90s, or even if you were born before, and you happen to remember a particular character from this time on children’s tv that was traumatizing for us all then you may not be into this part of the show. Because out from the dressing room comes the famous Mr. Blobby! Yeah Mr. Blobby the creepiest character on children’s tv came from the dressing room, onto the stage holding a double ended sex toy, swinging it around his head before jumping off the stage and running straight into the already active mosh pit.

Mr. Blobby goes away and the entire pit goes to the stage, the stage is jam packed full of fans in the crowd all in their wrestling gear, one holding a sword given to him by Warlock. Things were going fine until a member of the crowd grabbed a monitor from the stage, and had to be told off by the sound manager. The guitarist leaves the stage to get away from the madness, and runs around the crowd instead.

Band 10: Footprints in the Custard

You’ve had Mr. Blobby with a sex toy, and now enter Footprints in the Custard, but before they start their set the organiser of the day has to announce the biggest twat in Manchester! After an intense battle at the back of the room, the winner was crowned with the championship belt! Some of the outfits were incredible.

• Jeff Hardy
• Shawn Michaels
• The Undertaker
• Orange Cassidy (not from the old wrestling days, but a modern wrestler who loves to be lazy as anything)

But some thought it was just a regular fancy dress and one person even showed up dressed as Eddie Munson from Stranger Things.

The band is wearing bright neon colors, but the one that stands out the most is the bassist, who is wearing a mankini, literally a mankini and nothing else. If you don’t know what that is it’s basically a piece of fabric that goes over your private area, and up your bum and everything is basically on show. So sometimes you had to do a double take and you 100% got a few accidental flashes. The set begins with the Thomas The Tank Engine theme song, So you already know what you’re in for. Yes intense screams, badass riffs and a lot of headbanging.

Twatterfest delivered a weird poster to market this interesting day, and safe to say they lived up to it to the fullest. Half the stuff I’ve had to write for this review is stuff that I never thought I would have to say. Biggest Twat in Manchester, Mr. Blobby in a mosh pit with a double ended sex toy and a mankini with Thomas The Tank Engine. Scot Reedy made without a doubt the most entertaining day festival I think I’ve ever been a part of.

Words & images: Lauren Allard

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